News from the Front

As many, MANY, TOO MANY people know, the economy blows goats. It just caught up with me. Today I was pulled into my boss' boss' office and told by HER Boss that I am being given a layoff warning. This means that for all intents and purposes, I will not have a job with the county come July 1st. Anything can change in a month, however I am not overly optimistic.

I started to cry.. not sob, but the tears leaked out. I knew it wasn't personal. She began to tell me how valuable I am, how good a job I have done, and they didn't want to let me go. While it sounds pretty, and it may be a line of crap uttered to a laid off employee who is crying, I'm going to take it as a compliment to my service to my department.

They can't lay THAT off.

I'm hurt. I'm sad, and I'm proud of the achievement I have earned - going from new hire and low woman on the food chain to the highest admin in our office. I had more responsibility and tasks than I was classified for, I had my own office, and I am proud that as a woman who was a stay at home mother, shut in and abuse survivor - that this is what I have attained 2 years after I left my ex husband and struck out on my own, after 11 years of no work experience.. I am PROUD of myself. I have kicked ass, I have left my name with people, and I may be laid off, but I am not FIRED.

I am proud that I have never been fired. I have quit, I have resigned, but I have never been fired. I need to look at that long and hard and accept it for what it is. I am competant, I am employable, I am valuable. I have learned much, grown more and am ready to begin to reassess my current life and find out what I need to change to get to where I need to be.


Maybe this job was the best thing I could get a year and a half ago, but it's NOT the only job I will have for the rest of my life, OR even the best job. That's yet to be found.

After my layoff, i wrote my boss and her boss and thanked them for everything they had done for me, the opportunities and the growth. I let them know I admired them and wanted them to know that whatever they needed me to do in the coming month to helo transition into the new system would be my pleasure to do.

I'm sad, I'm disappointed, and I feel a little defeated - but it will pass. I have earned the luxury of self-pity, and it will not last.

Krista once said I reminded her of a cat - I always land on my feet.

Meow.

it doesn't HAVE to be the SWINE flu to suck..

It's been a while since I posted. I'm sure all 2 of you understand, since I talk to you fairly regularly. Life's life. Work's work and suckish, and now I have a raging case of the stomach flu. I heard somewhere that if you had the stomach bug it's not really the flu, since influenza causes UBER COLD symptoms, such as fever chills, aches, pains, swollen lymph nodes, runny nose, sore throat. If thats the case, what the HELL do YOU call when you run to the bathroom and barf up the contents of your stomach, becoming impressed with the human body's capacity for storage? Add in the bowel emptying which, I had to describe to the baby as "pooping out water' for her to understand what I meant when I was asking if she had diarrhea..

Seriously, what IS that supposed to be called, Rotovirus? Sure, 'round here, you say "I got the stomach flu" and people flee in terror in speeds that will astound. You don't say "I got a rotovirus" People look at you and wonder what the crap you've been doing with your remote.

So, this rotovirus/stomach flu/minion sent from hell to exact vengance upon me has arrived, began with the baby, and has kicked my butt. YOU KNOW I am sick when I lay in bed for the better part of the day, and have nothing to do with my children. In fact, THEY knew I was sick for that and were worried about me. You know what that means, right? They're next.

Oh. Joy.

Excuse me while I half-heartedly sip my Hansen's mandarin lime soda and nibble my saltines all while cursing the invention of consumable food. I hate you food!