Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Everyone has different things that trigger memories and emotional responses tied to them. Currently, the changing of summer to fall has begun to trigger emotions for me. This time last year, My Scott and I were headed to couplehood. He worked nights at a radio station, and being in Michigan, it kinda lined up with my post-children time of night. Things change - it's part of life. He no longer works nights, and the 3 hour time difference that once made it possible to be together now works against us.
Thankfully, we have emails, phone calls and messages through Myspace.com. It's not quite the same though.. seeing his face on camera, reacting to my silliness, SEEING how he felt, Oh, I do miss that a lot. Of course, June was even better than that, but for the longest time, IMing through MSN was the only way we had to connect to each other, and it worked for us, and losing that hurt.
Yet, through the distance and absence, I don't feel like I lost him. I don't feel like we are headed to a breakdown. If the chemistry I felt with him wasn't just sleep deprivation induced, this is just a waiting period.
To me, feelings of fall are hope. The nervous twitter and promise of a future. It's warmth, comfort and a strong abiding love.
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