Is this thing still on?

Well, HI!

Amember me?! Life has sucked me in, held me close, gave me a wedgie and then turned me loose before it could give me a 'brown eye.' (if you don't know what that is, be grateful you didn't have a crass older cousin) I have had some joys - 2 weeks off, albeit self-paid thanks to budget crises and a mandatory furlough; one helluva Christmas (thanks Jesus!), a reconnection to my mom who I didn't realize I'd missed. I've also had setbacks - my ex stopped taking the kids on overnights, blaming me for him becoming homeless (I'm a bloodsucking bitch, draining him dry via child support and court fees he's brought on himself) and that means no down time or days off. Initially, I am embarassed to admit to being pissy about it. After 3 months with NO breaks from my children, I've come back to the "Hey, it's what it is" zen of parenting. It's hard, it's messy, it's discouraging at times, but it's MINE. These are MY children. Instilling in them traits that I can be proud of is something I have lost sight of. After 2 weeks of them constantly in my face, I'm reminded of my long-term goal.. releasing them into the wild as productive human beings.

Aside from the Ex being stubborn and dragging his feet - we had a settlement drawn up where all he had to do was sign and be DONE, he wouldn't owe anything else and wouldn't need to DO anythign else, and the idiot didn't do it, so NOW we get to go back for round... Um... yeah, 45? in the court, whereby we ask for more money because he's being a dipshit and not signing papers. See, I'm hardcore into the notion of not being Susanne TYLER anymore.. I'd like to go back to my maiden name, Brorby. It's mine, ain't no one take it from me! Anyway, back to the initial rant here.. Aside from him being a dipshit, I haven't had too many bumps in the road, or if I have I have come to a place where I can weather them and not freak the hell out. Much.. often. Okay, i freak out better.

I'm blessed and grateful. I feel like if I expound upon it I will lose some meaning, but suffice it to say that I am grateful for my fortunes.

I hope the new year has been good to everyone - it's been ROUGH. SO rough for so many. For those who are jobless, or soon to be jobless, I'm pulling for you. God speed his blessings to you.

*lighting a candle*