The Untitled One

Ever have those times when you feel like you want to convey what's banging around in your head or thumping about in your heart but can't find the way to adequately express it? Yeah, that's where I am.

I wish that I could say that I am shiny, or even slightly glowy.. but the truth is, I'm just not. I wish I could be specific as what the ennui is caused by. There are reasons, and they feel like whining when I bring them out. Things are changing/have changed. I realize that that's what life does, it changes. I also realize that the universe has an intricate and elaborate plan that I fit into somehow, and when things change, they usually have an overall positive outcome. That doesn't mean that the change isn't scary or unsettling.

This post is going to end up with a lot of half-said things, and many implied things. That's just the way I'm going to leave it though. My intent was to put down the general feeling of unease and sadness. I don't need anything picked apart. My People are good about not belittling my feelings, even if they think they are silly. I love them madly for it. But sometimes, things feel so deep and strong that you don't dare talk about them, because 1) things are pending, and you don't have anything concrete, and 2) You just can't bear the thought of being made light of.

I don't know about looking back on all this and laughing someday, but Someday, I will be able to look back on this, because I'll survive it. I always do.

Sometimes, I'd just like to thrive.

Someday.