old

I'm not sure when it happened, or what even triggered it.. but somehow, sometime I became "old." 33 isn't a big number, and by most people's standards, I'd get slapped for claiming to be old, but damn, I FEEL old. It could be a combination of lack of exercise and poor diet, but all I know is that I feel really old, and it came on suddenly. Gone are the days of staying up until 2 am just to do it, then rising 4 hours later, and going about my day. I look at the clock, see it's 8pm and long to crawl between the sheets.

Aside from the fatigue, My neck hurts. A lot. Like, all the time. I wake up at night with my neck screaming at me. I can't get comfortable. Its probably time for a new bed, just like it's time for a commuter vehicle, and it's time to pay off bills, and it's time to clean the house.. etc... knowing I need to do something doesn't mean I have the means OR the commitment to do it.

SO, it's 9:15 PST, there are beautiful Geminids, and I don't feel like I can get my recently bathed butt outside to look at them.. for anyone who DOESN'T know me - stars, the universe and the many things that get blanketed into Astronomy are passions of mine. For me to blow them off says something
maybe I need to go sleep, hopefully in a comfy position and start again tomorrow. The Big Kid has her Christmas concert tomorrow, and the picking out of the dress was QUITE the to-do. :) IT should be a good concert. :)

Wish me blissful, restful, healing sleep.

And, just in case You're reading, I miss you. Vacation sucks, babe.

Heh

Okay, so I was reading my friend Chris' blog, and he had this link to this thing, and I went and did it and.... well....


I thought I'd get like level 2, I mean, I've never even licked anyone's eyeball.

Your Score: HELL LEVEL 3

Raw score: 90%

There's a special place in Hell for you: the basement penthouse. You scored the nastiest possible score on the Sexual Hell Test. You have no sexual restraint whatsoever. You'll take pleasure however you can get it, and my guess is you get it a lot. If for some reason you don't right now, you will soon, as people in your category only tend to spiral down ever deeper into the abyss of carnality and delicious sin. Congratulations.

I, personally, think that this category is the best. Paradoxically enough, sexual liberation and indulgence can only bring you closer to purity.

AVOID: all but level 3 hellions like yourself. You wouldn't want to ruin anyone, now would you?

Link: The Sexual HELL Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

So... Who's busy Saturday? ;)

Lol

Your Penis Name Is...

The Bald Avenger

Penis Name Generator

*Can't breathe.... laughing... tooo hard.....(snork)*

Confirmation

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!You drink everyone under the table.

Who's" Your Inner European?

Heh, duh. :)

Ode to Joy

I love Beethoven's 9th. I also love the process of accepting joy, choosing joy. It's not always as easy as it seems, as it requires breaking some thinking processes I have gotten stuck into.. focusing on the negatives, looking at what I can't do, what can't be done, rather than what has been done, what CAN be done. I vacuumed my living areas today. To the average person, that garners a big "So what?" but for me, I dance and sing and celebrate that I don't have to look at ground up bits of popcorn in my carpet, that the floor is clear of clutter and glows with light. That's a good thing. :D

I also have most of the laundry done, which, again, accomplishment. How did I manage to kick so much booty? I'll tell you. I have a sick little boy. :( He's been cleared from school until Thursday, which means I stay home with him... The ironic thing? Friday is my last day at work, and I find myself looking at a 2 day workweek. While I should rejoice in the time off before I start my shiny new job, I am looking at a loss in pay... pay I needed since I will not be getting a paycheck until mid December. Will I keep afloat? Probably, but it adds stress. My welfare will be cut, and I'm getting less pay until I start getting paid for my new job, and December's bills will still be here waiting for me, impatiently. And Christmas looms.

What I need to do is accept that Christmas will be focusing on feelings, atmosphere and tradition. Not physical gain. It's a pretty idea, but its hard to just buy into.. I love presents, I love giving them AND getting them. I also have 5 children who are less sold on the idea of "we're getting less this year" than *I* am. But for them to buy it, I need to also buy it... hence the struggle.

So.. back to choosing joy. (If you wanted a cohesive blog, I will point you to Magazine Man's blog, or, perhaps even Wil Wheaton's or even my good friend Krista's. This is the dumping ground for things in my head, and while I wish I could have a great streamlined writing style, this is pretty much how my thoughts tumble about in my head, so I feel it's a more accurate representation of who I am, how I think, what I feel. Most of the time, I make sense, other times, not so much. It's a blog, not an essay.) Back to Joy.

:D I have great friends, and family by choice.. They take care of me like no one ever has, they protect me, support me, encourage me, and ultimately, spoil the crap out of me. Liz's dad George showed up today with Starbucks and a Jack Ball for my van. Oh... I am SO loved. :D

Someday, when the safe filled with money falls from the sky at my feet, I will repay them, but until that happens, I laud them, love them, and try and think of ways I can give back to the people who have given me more than most people get in their lifetime. It builds on the joy I am learning to choose over pain and suffering.


:D I love my people who come by, dropping happiness on my doorstep and recharging me. I think they know how much I need it, but I hope they know how much I appreciate it. :D


Shiny factor 8 today!

MEME

Okay, so I ganked this from Krista, who ganked it from Kate Harding. :D

The deal is, you type the answer to each question into a Google image search, and you pick an image from the first page of results. Lots of images after the jump.

1. Age at next birthday:

2. A place you'd like to travel :

3. Your favorite place :

4.Your favorite objects:

5. Your favorite food:

6.Your favorite animals:

7. Your favorite color:

8. Town where you were born :

9. Town where you live :

10. Name of a past pet :

11. First name of a past love :

12. Best friend's nickname :

13. Your screen nickname :

14. Your first name :

15. Your middle name :

16. Your last name :

17. Bad habit of yours :

18. First job :

19. Grandmother's name :

20. College major :

SHINY!!!!!!!

Okay, so maybe I wasn't Hitler in another life. Maybe just a lackey. I got The Job. Not "A" job, but "THE" job, the one that's going to give relief to my struggling family, and make it so we can actually survive, THEN thrive!

Im beyond thrilled, elated, ecstatic, overjoyed, excited, happy, amazed, grateful and ... well, SHINY!!!!!! I am blessed by the best friends in the world, supportive, generous, amazing friends. :D

Thank you to everyone who has poured love, support, charity, kindness and joy to me. I have needed it more than I ever thought possible, and it has kept me floating. I love you all.

:D

Shiny Susanne!