News from the Front

As many, MANY, TOO MANY people know, the economy blows goats. It just caught up with me. Today I was pulled into my boss' boss' office and told by HER Boss that I am being given a layoff warning. This means that for all intents and purposes, I will not have a job with the county come July 1st. Anything can change in a month, however I am not overly optimistic.

I started to cry.. not sob, but the tears leaked out. I knew it wasn't personal. She began to tell me how valuable I am, how good a job I have done, and they didn't want to let me go. While it sounds pretty, and it may be a line of crap uttered to a laid off employee who is crying, I'm going to take it as a compliment to my service to my department.

They can't lay THAT off.

I'm hurt. I'm sad, and I'm proud of the achievement I have earned - going from new hire and low woman on the food chain to the highest admin in our office. I had more responsibility and tasks than I was classified for, I had my own office, and I am proud that as a woman who was a stay at home mother, shut in and abuse survivor - that this is what I have attained 2 years after I left my ex husband and struck out on my own, after 11 years of no work experience.. I am PROUD of myself. I have kicked ass, I have left my name with people, and I may be laid off, but I am not FIRED.

I am proud that I have never been fired. I have quit, I have resigned, but I have never been fired. I need to look at that long and hard and accept it for what it is. I am competant, I am employable, I am valuable. I have learned much, grown more and am ready to begin to reassess my current life and find out what I need to change to get to where I need to be.


Maybe this job was the best thing I could get a year and a half ago, but it's NOT the only job I will have for the rest of my life, OR even the best job. That's yet to be found.

After my layoff, i wrote my boss and her boss and thanked them for everything they had done for me, the opportunities and the growth. I let them know I admired them and wanted them to know that whatever they needed me to do in the coming month to helo transition into the new system would be my pleasure to do.

I'm sad, I'm disappointed, and I feel a little defeated - but it will pass. I have earned the luxury of self-pity, and it will not last.

Krista once said I reminded her of a cat - I always land on my feet.

Meow.